Do you travel with a cuddle bunny?
It’s nice to have a break from discussing violence, sexism, and the negative impact of societal gender role expectations and report on something light and fun for a change.
For example, British hotel chain Travelodge recently reported an interesting statistic. Apparently, stuffed animals are being abandoned in their hotel rooms at alarming rates. Over the past twelve months, in over 450 locations, there were over 75,000 stuffed animals left in Travelodge hotel rooms. Travelodge wanted to learn more about their visitors’ furry friends so they surveyed over 6,000 guests.
25% of adult men admitted to bringing a stuffed animal along with them when they were away from home on business. That’s just the ones that admitted it! Also, 1 in 10 guys admitted that they hid their teddy bear when their girlfriends stayed over.
The guys cited numerous reasons why they brought along a cuddly companion when they traveled.
- they found cuddling with their stuffed animal comforting
- they felt calmed and believed that it reduced their stress after a hard day
- it reminded them of home and the family or partner that was waiting there for them
Say what you want about being a tough guy, sucking it up and keeping a stiff upper lip, but couldn’t everyone use a good bear hug after a long, tough day on the road? Some of you might think that teddy bear in the corner looks cool, tough and you may be intrigued by his bad boy reputation. However, but I’ll take Mr. Snuggles any day.
Mr. Snuggles
MAC training starts September 9th!
Training to be a member of the Men’s Anti-Violence Council beings on September 9th. We have created a space for men from the University of Iowa campus and surrounding communities to create programming aimed at reducing violence, especially domestic violence, sexual assault and stalking.
We are not just focused on raising awareness and providing information about violence. MAC is interested in primary prevention, meaning that we want to keep violence from occurring in the first place. By engaging and training members of the community, MAC members work to make our community a safer place for everyone.
Our discussion includes issues related to masculinity, mentoring and leadership as well as bystander intervention skills. We want to end silence about violence. Instead of sitting on the sidelines complaining about the problem, MAC members are interested in being an active part of the solution.
Volunteer training dates, times and location
- Orientation Training: September 9, 6-9 p.m. at WRAC
- MAC Training: September 16, 6-9 p.m. at the IMU
- Cultural Competency Training: Sept 23, 6-9 p.m. Jones Commons, Lindquist Center
- MAC training: Sept. 30, 5-7 p.m at WRAC
Download a volunteer application here. MAC members also attend a weekly meeting during the semester to plan our programs. As of right now, that meeting is scheduled for Thursdays from 5-6 p.m. Our first meeting is on September 30.
Take a look at our brochure and newsletter for more information about what we do. If you have any questions, email me at jerrodkoon@gmail.com.
MAC brochure
MAC Newsletter
Catholic cardinal pressured victim to remain silent until abuser retired
Here is yet another story where leaders in the Catholic Church disregarded sexual abuse allegations and pressured victims to remain silent. According to the NY Times article, Cardinal Godfried Danneels, 77, who retired as the archbishop of Brussels in January after 30 years, met with the victim, now 42, and his uncle, Bishop Robert Vangheluwe, 73, on April 8 to pressure the victim either to accept a private apology or to wait until the bishop retired.
Bishop Vangheluwe
The main difference from this coverup and the countless others like it? This victim created audio tapes of the meeting! The tapes were recently released and church authorities have verified them as accurate.
During the meeting, Cardinal Danneels stated: “The bishop will resign next year, so actually it would be better for you to wait,” the cardinal told the victim. “I don’t think you’d do yourself or him a favor by shouting this from the rooftops” and “not to blackmail the church. You should accept a private apology from the bishop and not drag his name through the mud.
Another key difference between this case and others is that this did not result from a church investigation.
Cardinal Godfried Danneels
The case is being handled by the Belgium police. In fact, police raided church headquarters, seized documents and computers and detained several bishops for questioning. Cardinal Danneels was questioned by officers for 10 hours. A retired priest reported that he warned Cardinal Danneels about the abuse 14 years ago but was berated for doing so.
The Pope’s response? He called the police raids “deplorable” and stressed the autonomy of the church to handle it’s own investigations. Yeah, because letting you handle your own cases has worked out so well for all of the other victims. You know what’s deplorable? The sexual abuse of a boy by a trusted faith leader and a family member for 13 years while those in your order bullied and threatened him to keep quiet. All of this happened while the abuse was kept secret. You know what else is deplorable? The fact that you are calling this an investigation. He admitted that he did it and you knew that he did it! What is left to investigate?
Since you are so concerned with handling things yourself, what did you do when this story broke and the facts were presented? You accepted his resignation! You didn’t excommunicate or defrock him. You allowed to retreat to a monastery, where I am sure he is living comfortably. I hope that the police increase pressure regarding this case and drag him off to jail and anyone else who was involved in the coverup. They shouldn’t allow him to receive a peaceful retirement even though you would.
Drinks a man should never order…
Thanks to feministing.com for linking to a post from Sociological Images about alcoholic drinks that men should never order. I’m glad that I found this post because on the infrequent occasion that I order a drink, I’ve apparently been doing it all wrong. I’ve been ordering drinks that I think taste good and that I enjoy. I’m used to talking about subtle, covert gender policing and sexism, so I am not really sure what commentary I can add to these rules.
See the slideshow below for one random guy who used to own a bar and his opinion about drinks men should never order. Thanks WPLG Miami for covering this hard hitting piece of news and providing me with something to mock this afternoon.
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You know what, I do have some commentary to add because these rules are incomplete and confusing. Click the link to see how I clarify this mess.
Asking for it: The Ethics and Erotics of Sexual Consent
I’m really excited about this upcoming film Asking for it: The Ethics and Erotics of Sexual Consent which tackles the subject of affirmative consent. The film is based on Dr. Harry Brod’s lecture of the same name and is produced by Media Education Foundation. I’ve seen Harry present this material in a variety of situations and I am impressed every single time. I always leave with a new piece of information or metaphor to use in my own discussions of sexual consent. Not only am I happy for Harry to have his wonderful work recognized by one of the largest and excellent distributors of educational videos to colleges and universities, but this provides us with access to his material whenever we want! With this video, we can present his message to a much larger audience.
If you are engaged in any work that involves discussions of sexual consent, affirmative or not, or if you simply want to learn more about this topic, please take a look at this video and check out the video clip below. I don’t think you will be disappointed.
This video is currently available for pre-order and it will ship on September 15.
Women’s Resource and Action Center open house!
Stop by the Women’s Resource and Action Center open house on Tuesday August 24th from 4-6 p.m. The open house is the perfect way to meet our staff and familiarize yourself with our services that benefit the campus and community. You can also learn more about our volunteer opportunities related to diversity, social justice, anti-violence and group facilitation. Plus, there is free, tasty food available!
Volunteer training starts September 9th. The open house is a perfect opportunity to pick up your volunteer application!
We are located at:
130 North Madison Street
Iowa City, Iowa 52240
We are in the Blue House across from the IMU!
For more information about our services and programs, go to http://www.uiowa.edu/~wrac/
If you have any questions, please contact WRAC at 319.335.1486.
Boardwalk t-shirt
Sorry for the lack of updates this week. I’ve been at a conference and haven’t had a lot of opportunities to sit down at the computer. However, while exploring the boardwalk yesterday, I saw a shirt that caused me to stop and whip out the cellphone camera.
This isn’t the worst shirt that I have seen displayed or worn. However, for some reason this quaint little shop decided that this would be the best shirt to display outside of their shop. This was the piece of merchandise that was supposed to get people to stop and make a purchase in your store? I can’t even imagine what they were selling inside that shop. However, the message we get when we see something like this is to ignore it or just laugh because “it’s just a joke, lighten up.”
But it’s not funny. Your wife is worth less to you than a can of beer? Really? Stay classy offensive and unfunny t-shirt.
Red flag warning signs of domestic violence
Check out this Huffington Post article for some red flag behaviors related to abuse and domestic violence. These are some pretty basic red flags when it comes to using techniques to gain and maintain power and control over another individual. If you click on the article you can get a detailed explanation of each one of the following behaviors with some examples.
- Jealousy
- Controlling Behavior
- Instant Involvement
- Unrealistic Expectations
- Isolation
- Blames Others for Problems
- Blames Others for Feelings
- Disrespectful or Cruel to Others
- Use of Force During Sex
- Rigid Sex Roles
- Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde
- Past Battering
- Breaking or Striking Objects
- Any Force during an Argument
If you want some really specific examples, click on the image above for a checklist of domestic violence behaviors and tactics used in the training material for a Batterers Education Program workshop.
Kick homophobia out of football commercial
A couple of days ago we posted the Wanda Sykes PSA addressing the offensive use of the word “gay.” There is another powerful commercial out about homophobia, but it doesn’t use humor to deliver the message. It is the “Kick homophobia out of football” ad released by the Kick it Out campaign and the Football Association. The Kick it Out organization has addressed racism, and more recently homophobia, in professional football (soccer) throughout the UK for the past 16 years. This video contains strong language.
