Check out this great stalking awareness campaign called Stalking: Know It. Name It. Stop It. Not only do they have promotional materials to raise awareness about stalking, there are also numerous resources related to safety planning, outreach materials, and information specific to responders like law enforcement and prosecutors.
Last year, the Men’s Anti-Violence Council developed a workshop about commonly exploited technology used to stalk and harass individuals. It has been extremely popular and we have presented it at numerous conferences and workshops. We’ll be presenting it next month at The Big Ten Counseling Center conference regarding how this topic relates to counseling centers and college students. Stay tuned for when we upload the Power Point from that presentation.
Have you ever found yourself in a situation or discussion about difference (e.g. race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, etc.) and you just didn’t know what to do or say but you knew you needed to do something?
It doesn’t matter if it is overt racism, covert sexism, bullying or offensive language. Inappropriate conduct needs to be addressed in order to create a safe and welcoming campus and community for everyone. Helpful and active bystanders can create the positive change needed in our community. If bystanders remain passive and silent because they don’t know what to say or do, the problem is allowed to continue, and often escalate.
This interactive discussion is designed to provide information about the bystander intervention model regarding diversity and violence; provide training in identifying harmful and inappropriate situations; and teach specific bystander intervention skills and techniques to address inappropriate conduct. There will be opportunities to discuss realistic scenarios, process real-life situations, and practice the bystander intervention skills.
You need to register for this workshop on WRAC’s website here.
Join us on October 21, 2011 from 1:00 – 3:00 pm at Iowa Advanced Technology Labs Conference Room (Across the street from WRAC) to learn how to be an active and helpful ally.
MAC wanted to create a packet of material for our RAs to display on bulletin boards in the dorms. Our Rape Victim Advocacy Program has had a lot of success with this approach so we decided to create some materials about bystander interventions and violence prevention.
The problem was that I couldn’t find any existing product to use as a model or template. There wasn’t a single available pdf or powerpoint to modify into a bulletin board. I even visited online repositories of RA bulletin boards. There were hundreds of bulletin board examples, ideas, and templates. There was everything from Surviving a Zombie Apocalypse to Ramen Noodle Recipes but nothing about violence prevention.
So we created one. We took an example on a trifold foam board to the RA fair and had over half of our RAs on campus sign up. We color coded the categories (Things to know, How to help, and Who to call) for easy assembly and mailed each RA a packet. All they had to do was hang it up. RAs are responsible for changing their bulletin board twice a year so this material could be displayed on bulletin boards across campus for an entire semester.
Feel free to use and modify the pdf below to meet the needs of your group. If your group has created any materials that you would be willing to share with others, send them to us and we’ll post them on the site with your information attached.
I’m really excited about this upcoming filmAsking for it: The Ethics and Erotics of Sexual Consent which tackles the subject of affirmative consent. The film is based on Dr. Harry Brod’s lecture of the same name and is produced by Media Education Foundation. I’ve seen Harry present this material in a variety of situations and I am impressed every single time. I always leave with a new piece of information or metaphor to use in my own discussions of sexual consent. Not only am I happy for Harry to have his wonderful work recognized by one of the largest and excellent distributors of educational videos to colleges and universities, but this provides us with access to his material whenever we want! With this video, we can present his message to a much larger audience.
If you are engaged in any work that involves discussions of sexual consent, affirmative or not, or if you simply want to learn more about this topic, please take a look at this video and check out the video clip below. I don’t think you will be disappointed.
This video is currently available for pre-order and it will ship on September 15.
Check out this Huffington Post article for some red flag behaviors related to abuse and domestic violence. These are some pretty basic red flags when it comes to using techniques to gain and maintain power and control over another individual. If you click on the article you can get a detailed explanation of each one of the following behaviors with some examples.
Jealousy
Controlling Behavior
Instant Involvement
Unrealistic Expectations
Isolation
Blames Others for Problems
Blames Others for Feelings
Disrespectful or Cruel to Others
Use of Force During Sex
Rigid Sex Roles
Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde
Past Battering
Breaking or Striking Objects
Any Force during an Argument
If you want some really specific examples, click on the image above for a checklist of domestic violence behaviors and tactics used in the training material for a Batterers Education Program workshop.
When most people see something inappropriate, they often do feel bad and wish that they could help. The most common excuses I hear from participants in our workshops is “I don’t know what to say” or “I don’t know how to bring it up.” Offering support to someone you suspect experienced something harmful or inappropriate is not difficult. It might be scary and unfamiliar but it doesn’t involve a lot of complicated steps.
All you need to do is ask and listen. Let them know what you thought you saw and ask how it affected them. Express concern but don’t assume that they need or want your help. Ask if and how you can help. Leave it up to them. Even if they don’t want your help, they know that someone cared enough to ask and there is support if they need it. If they are not sure what to do, help them explore their options. Direct them to someone that knows more about it then you do. Support them in their decision, even if you would make a different choice.
So what does it actually look like? Here are some examples of how to start this conversation.
Is everything alright?
I’ve been thinking about what happened at (class/work/group/lunch) yesterday? What did you think about it?
This may not be any of my business, but are you ok?
Sorry to interrupt, but do you need any help?
I saw what happened and no one deserves to be treated like that.
Is there anything I can do to help?
Do you want to talk about it?
I’m sorry that happened.
Were you bothered by…?
If you want to talk about it, I’m here.
It doesn’t have to be long or complicated. I’ve had people break down and cry and I’ve had people tell me to mind my own business. I perform interventions because creating a safer community means that members of that community need to be active in confronting inappropriate behaviors, holding offenders accountable and offering support and services to survivors. It also involves modeling bystander interventions for those around you. I would want someone to offer support to me or someone I cared about. I also do it because I was tired of remaining silent and then feeling like crap afterwards.
I just wanted to pass along two images that you might find useful and interesting. Many of you have seen the pay equity poster hanging on the refrigerator at the Women’s Center. I never knew where I could get a copy, so I searched the Interweb and found one. The blank space to the right of the slogan is perfect for including your group or club’s contact information.
The For Every Girl poster on the right is a nice modifcation of Nancy Smith’s 1973 For Every Woman. You can find the full sized files of these posters and more on our Resources page.
As of last Thursday, the Men’s Anti-Violence Council members have presented workshops, outreach, presentations and talks to over 1,000 students, staff and community members! That is a lot of presentations in 3 semesters. I just wanted to thank all members of MAC for their hard work and dedication. If you would like to request a workshop or training for your group or to become a member of MAC contact us at 319-335-1486 or email me for more information jerrod-koon@uiowa.edu
What can you do or say when someone reveals that they have recently been a victim of abuse or assault? They are taking a risk by revealing a traumatic event to you. How can you make sure that you respond with care and sensitivty? How can you make sure that you are supportive to their needs even though you are experiencing a range of intense emotions? How do you support them even though they may choose to make a differnt decision than you would like them to make? Take a look at our Supporting Survivors handout. We borrowed a great deal of language from the Men Can Stop Rape handout of the same name.
It is impossible to have a discussion about violence without talking about gender, power and privilege. Since we are a men’s group in a women’s center on a university campus, we talk about masculinity and college men quite often. Traditional, hegemonic masculinity is unhealthy. It means dominating, controlling, intimidating and being violent toward others. It means taking unecessary risks, being emotionally detached and pretending to be invincible and invulnerable. It means denying anything considered feminine or homosexual.
There is room in this work to talk about how men are affected by unhealthy masculinity. This isn’t to say men are oppressed or equal victims of patriarchy. It isn’t to reduce accountability and responsibility for those individuals who do cause harm and pain to others. It is a chance to recognize that by doing this work, we have the opportunity to redefine masculinity which can create positive changes for everyone. I want nothing more than for men to step forward and end violence against women, girls and each other. I also want men to be able to have healthier and more fulfilling relationships. This handout is a compilation of numerous research articles about college men’s behaviors and health.
I’m really excited about this upcoming film
